23 Disember 2010

Listen.

 Actually listening to somebody is the single most important rule you'll ever learn about people -especially women. Listen to what they have to say. All people have dreams, fears, hopes and thoughts. Listening to them will be the greatest gift you can give to anybody, great or small, wise or ignorant, and if you can do that for them, they'll love you in return.

Realize that breaking up is just a normal part of life.

 Yes, breaking up is difficult - but like it or not, this is a normal part of adolescent and adult life, and as much as it's painful, it's also very normal. Sometimes you'll be the "dumper", sometimes you might be the "dumpee". We all experience heartbreak; it hurts – but we all survive it, and you (and your ex) will too.

Stop making excuses for why they didn't call, didn't email you back, made you feel bad, or any other negative way they might have treated you. Don't ever think they are sitting around thinking about you--because, even if you are an incredible person, he/she is probably wrapped up in their own life. If they feel interested in you, they will take the initiative to contact you. Since they are not doing that, it means they are not interested in you.

Sometimes, we become obsessed because we believe that one person we are obsessing over is the only person who will ever love us or we believe they are our "one true love." Never think of anyone in that way--that is only an ideal, not truth. If it didn't work out, then it most likely wasn't meant to be.

22 Disember 2010

Don't obsess over finding your soulmate. Coming off as needy and desperate for love is not attractive to a soulmate--or anyone else, for that matter!

Have you ever wanted or looked for something, but only found it when you stopped looking? The same principle might work for finding your soulmate. Become so busy with your life that you totally forget about meeting your soulmate and, odds are, that's when your soulmate will pop up.

If you're with someone who is manipulative or abusive in any way, rest assured that you are NOT with your soulmate. Break it off as quickly as possible, or else you might never meet your soulmate because you're too busy dealing with an unhealthy relationship.

18 Disember 2010

ROMANTIC LOVE—HOW OUR HEARTS WERE TRAINED TO 'FALL IN LOVE'.

 Where Does Romantic Love Come From?

    Just as we might like to believe that our human sexuality is 'natural',so we usually assume that 'falling in love' comes naturally. But historical investigation has discovered that what we know as romantic love is only about 800 years old.
This seems shocking and impossible to us as first,since we know that people have been mating and reproducing for millions of years.
But if we clearly separate lust from love,we can see that lust might have accounted for the sexual behavior of our ancestors even if they could never have understood a romantic Hollywood movie.

    Romantic love is a cultural construct,
which has been spread over the whole Earth by the mass media. Before radio, television, and movies—100 years ago— large parts of the world had never heard of 'falling in love'. They still had sexual relationships and families, of course,but the fantasy of romantic love did not run their relationships.

    Romantic love is basically an emotional story we tell ourselves. By means of the mass media, we have been programmed so that we 'fall in love' following the patterns prescribed in the Hollywood script. We try to reproduce a fantasy feeling. We 'fall in love' with the Dream Lover inside our own heads when we set out to find "someone to love".

Romantic Jealousy: Cause & Prevention

Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships because of three factors:
(1) comparison, (2) competition, & (3) the fear of being replaced.
 
If we become more autonomous and self-creating, these three features of relationships become less significant and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less likely.

However, within ordinary, possessive relationships, jealousy is normal: 

If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted, traded-in for a better model, we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger, grief, & betrayal.

This bitter feeling of hurt and hostility called "jealousy" can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life. 

And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.

If enculturation has taught us how to feel jealous, can we transcend those learned responses and create relationships in which jealousy does not arise?

If we are loved for the unique persons we are becoming, then comparison with rivals diminishes. 

And when we are no longer in competition with other women or men, we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous. 

If we become irreplaceable in our relationships, then jealousy disappears.

Thus, the basic way to prevent jealousy is to become unique and irreplaceable persons. 

And becoming more Authentic might be the best way to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential rivals.

The worst part about walking away from you, is knowing you're not going to stop me. - Unknown

I guess to some extent you get used to being alone.  You get used to not expecting phone calls and having nothing to do at night.  You don't expect to turn around to open arms any longer.  The small sounds of her have been replaced by silence.  Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with.  All in all, being alone isn't terrible, it just hurts.

16 Disember 2010

Alicia Keys - Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart [Live Acoustic Version]

this song really mean a lot to me, there is one time when im already long breakup in my relationship then suddenly my ex gf gave this song to me... guess what happen after that? anyway, just enjoy the song :) jangan nangis sudah heheh

Warnings about love

  • You must love yourself before you can love another. But before you can love yourself, you must know and understand yourself profoundly. This deep understanding of yourself will automatically lead you to love yourself (since you will become aware of your divine essence) and you will also love every other person at that same moment (because you will recognize that same divine essence in every other person).
  • There is always the risk of getting hurt (when love switches to fear), so remember to fully love and trust in your constant decision to love rather than fear.
  • Recognize that any feeling of jealousy is a clear sign of fear. Therefore the most appropriate response is to begin loving again (since we cannot love and fear at the same time).
  • Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
  • If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
  • The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
  • You just may find your soulmate sooner than you intended.
  • If you feel any doubt of the love your partner has for you, make sure that your suspicions are grounded in reality. If you hurt your partner as a result of undeserved mistrust, he/she may end up doubting both your love for them and theirs for you.
  • Don't ask for love. You should receive love because your partner wants to give you love, not because you want it from your partner.
  • Do not force love. It will come in good time—perhaps not with the person you initially want, but love definitely will come if you are willing to share it with someone.

15 Disember 2010

true or not?

True love is when your fighting all day long, leaving the house to get away, saying mean things you don't mean, but at the end of the day there is no one elses arms you would rather be in.

14 Disember 2010

untuk mu

Consider some tips about what people in love do.



  • People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavour to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
  • Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature. People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.
  • Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.
  • People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.
  • People who are truly in love are considerate of each other's feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly, sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
  • People who are truly in love look out for their mate's best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
  • People who are truly in love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we are counting on someone else to meet our needs.
  • People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mate's disappointments or failures.
  • People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.
  • People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope, which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denying that there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.

13 Disember 2010

serba sedikit tentang cinta

  • It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.
  • There are many types of relationships that involve love, but love itself is a common thread to all those relationships. For example: a mother-son relationship is different from the relationship with a best friend, and both these relationships are different from a romantic relationship. But in each of these relationships, each person loves the other (wants the best for the other). Love this the base of the pyramid. On top of the base, we can add other items such as other common interests (in the case of friends) or sex (in the case of romantic relationships). Therefore, relationships can grow and evolve but the love itself is solid and constant. It does not change.
  • Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
  • You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.
  • Sometimes love is all we need. As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Sometimes love songs do not accurately describe love, but rather, the absence of love, hence the sad tone of some romantic songs.
  • Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love yourself, how are you to love another?
  • Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.
  • Realize that love is a feeling that can describe and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.
  • Do things that make the other person feel good and happy, but do not smother them with gifts and attention.
  • Remember there is no failure in love, because once you tell somebody whom you love, that you love him/her, then you have already succeeded in love.

12 Disember 2010

How to Love

Love is both an action and a feeling. The action of love generates a blissful feeling called by the same name. When the action stops, the blissful feeling is replaced with pain. Every person is capable of great love (and its opposite, fear, which generates all painful emotions such as hate, greed and jealousy).

While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (or even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.

Steps

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
 

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

 4. Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

 5. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing them.

 6. Never stop loving. Even if you have been hurt before you should not stop giving love.

11 Disember 2010

love letter

"There is only one situation that I can think of in which men and women make an effort to read better than they usually do. When they are in love and reading a love letter, they read for all they are worth. They read every word three ways; they read between the lines and in the margins... Then, if never before or after, they read."
~ Mortimer J. Adler (b. 1902) 

bila kali terakhir anda menerima atau menulis surat cinta?

10 Disember 2010

She (Tous Les Visages de L'Amour) Elvis Costello - from Notting Hill Soundtrack Written by Charles Aznavour and Herbert Kretzmer

entry baru untuk blog saya, http://memoriesofadaun.blogspot.com/ kali ini adalah ending filem Notting Hill dimana lagu She, sountrack untuk filem tersebut dimainkan, bila dengar lagu ini terasa sunguh jiwang, dan lagu ini dialih bahasa dari sebuah lagu perancis pada tahun 1975. maka saya rasa untuk entry kali ini saya ingin kongsikan kejiwangan saya ini kepada anda semua. bagi yang belum menjadi follower, silalah menjadi follower

the song start at minute 1.50, so layan dulu babak akhir filem ni k :) so romantik

 


She may be the face I can't forget 
The trace of pleasure or regret 
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay 
She may be the song that summer sings 
May be the chill that autumn brings 
May be a hundred different things 
Within the measure of a day

She may be the beauty or the beast 
May be the famine or the feast 
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell 
She may be the mirror of my dreams 
A smile reflected in a stream 
She may not be what she may seem 
Inside her shell....

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd 
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud 
No one's allowed to see them when they cry 
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last 
May come to me from shadows in the past 
That I remember 'till the day I die

She maybe the reason I survive 
The why and wherefore I'm alive 
The one I care for through the rough and ready years

Me, I'll take the laughter and her tears 
And make them all my souvenirs 
For where she goes I've got to be 
The meaning of my life is 
She....She 
Oh, she....
 
 
 
Toi, par tes mille et un attraits
Je ne sais jamais qui tu es
Tu changes si souvent de visage et d'aspect
Toi quelque soit ton âge et ton nom
Tu es un ange ou le démon
Quand pour moi tu prends tour à tour
Tous les visages de l'amour

Toi, si Dieu ne t'avait modelé
Il m'aurait fallu te créer
Pour donner à ma vie sa raison d'exister
Toi qui est ma joie et mon tourment
Tantôt femme et tantôt enfant
Tu offres à mon cœur chaque jour
Tous les visages de l'amour

Moi, je suis le feu qui grandit ou qui meure
Je suis le vent qui rugit ou qui pleure
Je suis la force ou la faiblesse
Moi, je pourrais défier le ciel et l'enfer
Je pourrais dompter la terre et la mer
Et réinventer la jeunesse

Toi, viens fais moi ce que tu veux
Un homme heureux ou malheureux
Un mot de toi je suis poussière ou je suis Dieu
Toi, sois mon espoir, sois mon destin
J'ai si peur de mes lendemains
Montre à mon âme sans secours
Tous les visages de l'amour
Toi ! tous les visages de l'amour

07 Disember 2010

Unconditional Love

"Yes, it may be true you're not doing
things my way, yet I love you,
I honor the good in you,
and I want the best for you, just the same."

"The love of a person implies not
the possession of that person,
but the affirmation
of that person
in all their uniqueness"

"Those whose perception of others is
unconditionally loving will receive
unconditional love,
enough for themselves
and to give to others."

"Everyone, at any given time,
is doing the very best they can with what they have.
When people learn better they do better."

just be yourself

"I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."

The 5 Love Languages

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller! Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

  • Words of Affirmation
    Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
  • Quality Time
    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
  • Receiving Gifts
    Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
  • Acts of Service
    Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
  • Physical Touch
    This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.